The Art Of Faux-pression: Giving Them What They Want

After a year of "Faux-pression", (a term which means that everyone thinks that I should be depressed, but I'm really not, but acting the part for their sake.) I decided to record my thoughts. Just in case you need to act "faux-pressed", here's how:

1. Stay in bed a lot...A Whole Lot. You're not in bed for any other reason than the new mattress feels good. Plus, the less that I use my joints, the longer they'll last. Genius!

2. Don't answer the phone. As it's ringing, delight in the fabulousness that is Godiva Chocolate.

3. When people start talking about how bad things must be for you, just agree. Internally, I simply laugh. I'm really good at that! Yes, I have aches and pains, but who doesn't?

I have too much to be thankful for to be depressed, dammit! When will people get that?

I'm Back!

This knee replacement thing is the pits! Nothing is going as I planned, which is causing me to wonder....why me? I ended up back in the hospital for knee manipulation. What that means is that after I had surgery, I kept feeling my knee drawing up and I eventually lost the ability to extend it. This is not an unheard of phenomenon....well, it sort of is because most people with the problem lose the ability to flex the leg. Dr. Cutie Pie said that he read that JRA can cause extension issues after knee replacement.

Anyway, I had the procedure done, the leg was straight and boy was I happy! The happiness did not last long because it is slowly trying to go back into the same old position that sent me back to the hospital. I go to therapy 3 days per week to help strengthen the leg and keep it straight, but it is doing no good. Who knew that I would be in such a mess?

Regardless, I am alive and it could be worse. I miss driving my car and playing in the backyard with my dog and cat. One day I will be able to resume those activities. In the meantime, I will be here praying that that day comes really soon.

I'M Alive!

I made it through the surgery without much fanfare. I woke up with a determination to immediately jump out of bed and begin the rehab process without complaint and I was able to do so. The recovery process is really, really tough, but with the help of my loving mother, I will get through it. My leg is so very swollen and bruised with about 25 staples keeping it intact. I am almost afraid to look at it because it really doesn't look real, but it's the new and improved Super Knee!!

I am going to bed, as I have been up all day and fatigue has set in. Keep me and the 'Super Knee' in your thoughts and prayers.

Chilling and Relaxing

Tomorrow is the day! I received a phone call from the doctor's office requesting that I make an appointment for today. I went in at 1:00 only to have my knee x-rayed and to have Dr. Hot Boy tell me that he wanted me to view the implant, however the implant was being shown to students. The man even wanted me to see a saw that is used during the surgery! I didn't want to see it anyway!!!!! Do the surgery and get it over with...gosh. He did mention straightening a curve in my knee and that was good news, as that curve is what makes my knees knock...ha, ha, ha.

Mom flew in to take care of me....again. She is a mighty amazing woman, if I may say so. She is always there for me and I do my best to let her know every day how much I love and appreciate her. I don't really know if I am worthy of even being her child. She is where my strength and humor comes from. Dealing with any disease, condition or disorder requires a positive outlook and she has instilled that positive attitude in me.

I guess that I need to pack my a small bag and prepare for the morning. I will return within a week with additional updates. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Adios!

The Countdown

Each hour brings me closer to that dreaded day. I was so looking forward to having knee replacement surgery, but now I am about to change my mind. Well, that is really not true, but I wish that I could change my mind, however Arthritis has ravaged my knee and the pain is HORRIBLE. It is not as if I haven't been through this before, but as January 30, 2008 approaches, August 28, 1998 infiltrates my brain. That was the date that I had a total right hip replacement from hell!

I remember waking up and immediately grabbing the phone to call a friend to declare that I was alive! I called my job and my manager asked what time my surgery would take place. I told her that it was over, I was alive and that I felt good enough to walk across the street to work. I was so hyperactive and alert that I scared even myself. After my phone calls, my mother had bad news.....my bone cavity is too small for part that was supposed to be implanted into my bone. It was kinda stuck as far into the bone cavity as far as they could get it and my bone would have to grow over the part before I could walk. Frankly, I didn't care because I wasn't interested in walking up and down a long hallway with staples in my hip and my butt peeking beneath that awful gown. I was happy to just sit and watch television, hoping that I could apply some makeup.

The day after surgery, nurses would come in, ask me how I felt and stared me in the face as if I had a face lift gone wrong. I really couldn't figure out what the reason was for the stares for a while. Actually, they were waiting on me to exhibit some effect of being low on blood. Luckily, I donated 3 pints of my own blood in case I needed a transfusion and I needed every drop. Even though I donated my own blood, it was yucky to see it re-enter my veins. I will say that I am happy that I did donate because it would have been even yuckier to know that the blood previously belonged to Margie, 34 year old mother of Seth and John, and wife of Bob from Idaho. Honestly, I applaude anyone kind and selfless enough to donate blood, organs or time to help others in need. I personally want to thank you.

Fast forward to today's activities....I had to go to the hospital to pre-register for the procedure. Do you know those unfashionable plastic armbands adorned by hospital patients? Well, I am wearing one now that I cannot take off. I did not have the opportunity to donate my own blood this time, so my blood type is being determined. The band will let hospital staff know that the process has been completed. If I take it off, they will have to take draw blood again. I tried to tell Miss Nursey Nurse that my blood type is B Positive, but I guess that the bloody typing experiment that was done in 10th grade biology class isn't good enough for them.

It's been fun, but I've gotta run. Until next time....

One Day Someone Helped Me

I need to get out of this house before I rebuild it. I have painted everything paintable and cleaned everything cleanable. Did I just create new words? I was up until 4 a.m. posting ads on Criag's List. Everything that I posted was free....just come and get it. I cleaned a closet and found a lot of good items that someone could use. It was really strange that I received responses from the same person for every item that I posted. Finally, she gave me her phone number and I had to give Ms. Quick Fingers a call. In conversation, I learned that she lives in my subdivision, about 4 streets over from mine. She just moved due to separation from her husband and she has very few things in her home. I gave her things that I really didn't plan to part with, but when I went through my divorce, someone helped me. I could not live with myself if I didn't return the favor. My favorite phrase is, "One day someone helped me too".

I am independent to a fault and am hesitant to even accept help from others because it gives me a feeling of failure. It means that I did not succeed and not only do I know, but someone else does too. My mother, bless her sweet, sweet soul is kinda psychic. She knows when I am not well and when I am in need without me even speaking to her. She will get on a plane in a heartbeat to confirm her suspicions. She hasn't been wrong yet. She has helped me in ways that I could never tell anyone. When I had hip replacement surgery, she put her life on hold to take care of me for months. She is a nurse, so the hospital nurses were greatful because they were instructed by my doctor to allow her to make certain determinations related to my care. I had complications that prevented me from walking for a few months and she did everything and anything for me during that time. I am so appreciative for her help.

I really didn't do much today except to rest and chat on Yahoo with former co-workers. That was really interesting because they have been waiting for me to return to work and didn't know that I quit. I was their supervisor and they did not know that I quit! Those poor folks really thought that I was on an extended leave....since August 2007! I resigned, found another job and was laid off, which was a HUGE blessing.

I left the original job to branch out, find myself, do something different. This is funny....I started the new job on September 4, 2007 and was laid off on November 27, 2007. It was a blessing because the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I planned to resign because I was told by Dr. Cutie Pie that I needed to be on bed rest. I could not apply for FMLA because I only with the company for a little over 2 months. That meant that I had no options for taking a leave. Luckily, I forgot to turn in the letter of resignation before I left work for the Thanksgiving holiday. The Tuesday after Thanksgiving, I was laid off. Woo-Hoo!!! That meant paychecks and benefits until March. After that time I can start receiving unemployment. Had I resigned, I would have had nothing, except my hands in my savings account. Thankfully, I keep my expenses low, so I can make it comfortably. Those $500 Christian Louboutin shoes won't be mine for a while.

I am now suffering from medicine brain so I will say good bye for now, but before I go I challenge you to help someone. It could be something as simple as giving an unexpected hug to someone or something as huge as paying for someone's coffee in Starbucks. I once went to Office Depot and actually told the cashier to ring up my item and the stranger's behind me. He had only made copies of a contract, but he was so greatful...and cute.

Take the time to do something nice for someone today.

If I don't keep moving, I get stiff and walking out the stiffness is no fun, but I get through it just fine. Because my knee is in such bad shape, I must use a cane for mobility. Honestly, I should have said that I am supposed to use a cane, but I usually don't. You may want to know why....maybe you don't, but I'm telling you why anyway. I think that I am far too cute and much too young for a cane, even to use it in the privacy of my own home. I am still on a quest to find a husband! After I am married, I will spring the Arthritis and walking cane thing on him. That is not really true! I am just too darn independent for a cane, though I walk like a duck without it.

Honestly, the reason that I don't use the cane is because I never know where it is.....ever! What I do is to use it until I get to where I need to go and then leave it in a corner and waddle back to my destination. When I really need it, I can't find it. Now that I have shared my secret, I am going to look at my freshly painted walls....if I can get up. I can do it....I can do it....I can do it!